Ben's money get stolen

This morning we all completed our first Writing sample for 2013. I have posted it just as I wrote it in the 40 minutes that we were,given So that throughout this Year I will be able to look back and reflect on the progress. I have made in my writing. I will post my learning goal from this soon

Once upon a time there was a boy name Ben, his school money always get taken by someone. Ben always come with school money but someone always steals it. He tried putting it in his desk , giving it to the teacher But it got worser.

So one day Ben went home and told his parents. His  Dad got so angry that he went and talked to principal. The principal tried to stop it but nothing happened it was still on the same thing.

But one day Ben and his parents figured out a trick. So the next day Ben done the trick. He puts his money in the bag and he lives it outside. He went and hides somewhere that he can see the bag .So when someone come to steal the money he comes and punch him on the face so he can fall asleep. He calls the police and the police will come and get the robber. so he done it and it worked. So the next day nobody stole his money and he lived happily ever after